Okay so this post is way overdue and that’s mainly because I’ve been pretty preoccupied. After my last post (which was way too long ago) my boyfriend came out to Thailand for 2 weeks (I’ll put some blogs up on where we went at some point too), and after not seeing him for over 2 months my time was to be spent with him and not writing blogs.
After that, I returned to the UK (my reasons for which can be found here) and my time was taken up by catching up with various friends, job hunting and basically sorting out my life again. Father’s day seemed like a fitting day to start writing again.
When I quit my job and decided to travel, taking a massive risk, I did it because I felt intuitively that it was the right thing to do. I still feel that way. Although there have been times where I’ve questioned my decision (mainly when I was back at home living with my sister, unemployed and trying to break into the tough industry of Graphic Design for the first time since leaving university 6 years ago), I stand by my belief that there’s no such thing as regrets. Something that may seem like a wrong decision was the one you were meant to make, and was also one that will eventually lead you to something better. I still miss travelling every day but I have no regrets about either coming home or quitting my job to go in the first place.
Quitting my job with nothing else lined up with the way the job market is in the UK at the moment was a massive risk, and one that could end up backfiring in a big way. Although on paper it seemed like it could be a bad idea, I always had this strong feeling that things would somehow work out and be okay. Of course while I was away I had the occasional day of doubts. I would psych myself out and panic about coming back to a life of unemployment and regret, but I never shook that gut feeling that things would work out the way they were meant to work out and that the outcome would be a positive one. I believe in the power of positive thinking – if you believe it will happen then it will and if you believe you will fail and that’s exactly what you’ll do. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So far it looks like I was right. After two weeks spent organising, doing life admin and sorting through my belongings when I first returned to the UK, I applied for the first job I found – a job that just happened to seem like the ideal role for me. A few days later I had an interview and a week after that I had my first day. I moved back to Birmingham from my hometown in Cardiff, which again seemed like the right thing to do, carried on a relationship with my boyfriend (which by now finally meant us being in the same place) and began a search for my own place to live. That’s the last thing on my list. Although I’m scared to say it for fear of something going wrong, things seem to have worked out and at this moment in time, life is pretty good. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t gained my inheritance money and decided to travel again.
Although I miss the life of a backpacker on a regular basis, there were many times where I craved being home and having a routine when I was away. Although travelling is an amazing experience it’s not always about cocktails and sunsets on the beach – I had my down days where I really questioned what I was doing; where I was so tired, hot and homesick I could barely function – those are the days that are easy to forget and that I remind myself of when I feel sad that they’re over. When it comes down to it, although there are countless bloggers out there who I admire who suit the life of a full time nomad, it’s just not the life for me. I came to this decision while I was away and it was the most valuable decision I made. Not many people have the luxury of being faced with that option and turning it down.
It was all about weighing up my homesickness against my wanderlust and deciding which one was stronger. I can’t travel without missing home and I can’t be home without craving getting away and seeing more of the world (I’ll write more about that comparison in my next post). Unfortunately it is difficult to find a middle ground, but I’m going to try. I grew to love the backpacker lifestyle, even with it’s flaws, but it’s a difficult to find the time and the money to do it without working while you’re travelling, which is something that doesn’t appeal to me. After all, the freedom and lack of responsibility that come with travelling are it’s main appeal. Take them away and I know the homesickness would be overwhelming. So for now I’m going to try and settle for what most people do and plan holidays and weekends away, starting with Paris in a few weeks. I think for now I’m satisfied with that plan because for now, I’m happy to be home.